Biscuitts 4

Biscuitts 4 is a 2D side-scrolling beat ’em up game that pays homage to 1980s Filmation cartoons, set in a fantasy-inspired world with colorful, cartoony visuals. Players control a character through various themed levels, using simple punch mechanics to defeat enemies and progress, capturing the nostalgic charm of the original animated series with retro aesthetics and straightforward combat.

Biscuitts 4: A Curious Time Capsule of Nostalgia and Minimalism

Introduction: The Enigma in the Archive
In the vast, meticulously catalogued library of video game history, certain entries stand out not for their commercial success or critical acclaim, but for their profound obscurity and the tantalizing gaps in their story. Biscuitts 4 (2021), developed by the enigmatic studio Crossplatform and published by Indie Games Publisher, is precisely such an entry. It exists as a faint digital specter on storefronts and databases, a game with virtually no critical discourse, a minuscule player footprint, and an identity seemingly plucked from a collective, half-remembered dream of 1980s animation. This review does not dissect a lost masterpiece nor lambast a notorious failure. Instead, it undertakes an archaeological excavation of an artifact that is more fascinating for what it represents—a peculiar, earnest, and deeply niche attempt to bottle the essence of a bygone era—than for what it is: a strikingly simple, functionally bare-bones side-scrolling beat ’em up. My thesis is that Biscuitts 4 is a poignant case study in the aesthetics of nostalgia and the economics of hyper-specific fandom, a game whose entire value proposition is inextricably tied to a phantom media franchise, leaving its mechanical execution to languish in the shadow of its referential ambition.

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1. Development History & Context: A Ghost in the Machine

The Studio and the Vision

The developer, Crossplatform, presents an immediate puzzle. The name suggests a focus on multi-operating system compatibility (a claim borne out by the Windows and Linux releases), but the studio leaves no other digital footprint. No website, no prior games listed in major databases, no social media presence beyond a skeletal YouTube channel (“BiscuittsGame” with 68 videos and ~9,500 views). The publisher, Indie Games Publisher, is equally opaque, functioning as a generic entity often associated with small-scale Steam releases. This points to a micro-indie, possibly one-person or very small team operation, working with negligible marketing budget and relying entirely on Steam’s discovery algorithms and niche word-of-mouth.

Their stated vision, culled directly from the official Steam store description, is strikingly specific: “Biscuitts 4 is a Beat Em Up Game based on the 80s Cartoon.” They continue: “If you remembered watching the 80’s cartoon series and had fond childhood memories of it, you’re going to appreciate this side-scrolling Beat Em Up game.” The crucial, unspoken question is: what 80s cartoon? No record of a show titled “Biscuitts” or anything phonetically similar exists in animation archives. The description then pivots to a misattributed artistic analysis: “The Filmation cartoons, because of their constant use of animation, kind of looked like a videogame in many occasions. So we was thinking of how cool it would be to see a game with old cartoon graphics.”

This is a critical, if flawed, piece of design philosophy. Filmation was a real, low-budget American animation studio (1970s-80s) famous for its limited animation techniques—reusing backgrounds, repetitive character cycles, and a generally僵硬 (stiff) aesthetic. While it’s a stretch to say they “looked like a videogame,” their work (He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, She-Ra: Princess of Power) carries a distinct, dated visual flavor that does share a technological lineage with early 8-bit and 16-bit game graphics in terms of color palette and simple forms. The developers seem to be chasing the feeling of that era’s Saturday morning cartoons, not an actual licensed property. Biscuitts 4 is thus best understood as an original creation masquerading as an adaptation, a game built around a fictional nostalgia.

Technological Constraints & The 2021 Indie Landscape

Built in Unity, the game’s system requirements are minimal (Windows XP+, 2GHz CPU, 2GB RAM, 256MB VRAM), placing it firmly in the “runs on a potato” category. This suggests a focus on maximum accessibility over graphical fidelity, aligning with its retro aesthetic. In the 2021 landscape, the “beat ’em up” genre was experiencing a robust indie revival, with titles like River City Girls (2020) setting a high bar for style, depth, and polish. Against this backdrop, Biscuitts 4‘s stated simplicity—“One Character to choose and play / Levels with different themes and enemies”—is not a nostalgic callback but a severe limitation. It reflects either a scope constrained by resources or a deliberate, ultra-minimalist design choice that undervalued the genre’s evolved expectations.

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2. Narrative & Thematic Deep Dive: The Absent Cartoon

This is the section where the source material provides the least information, making it the most revealing about the game’s nature.

Plot and Characters: A Blank Page

There is zero canonical information regarding the game’s narrative, characters, or dialogue from any official source. No Steam store description, MobyGames entry, or Wikidata statement provides a synopsis. The game does not appear to have a story mode with cutscenes or text, based on the description of gameplay (“walk and use punches to combat with enemies over the levels. When you kill all enemies you go to the next level.”). The “character” is unnamed and undescribed. The “enemies” are also anonymous.

The narrative, therefore, exists purely as a player-projected fiction. The entire “based on the 80s Cartoon” premise forces the player to invent a backstory. Who is the protagonist? What is the fantasy setting? Who are the enemies? The game’s thematic core is not in the game but in the player’s memory and imagination. It’s a narrative-shaped void, a Rorschach test for fans of Filmation-style animation. The “theme” is pure, unadulterated nostalgia for a product that never existed, making Biscuitts 4 a bizarre form of autofictional gaming—where the player’s own invented memory of 80s cartoons becomes the actual story.

Dialogue & Underlying Themes: Silent Mechanics

With no reported dialogue system or narrative text, any thematic analysis must be inferred from the mechanical skeleton and the aesthetic premise. The only “theme” explicitly stated by the devs is faithful aesthetic replication. The underlying, unintentional themes are more interesting:
* The Poverty of Scope: The reduction to one character and punch-only combat speaks to a theme of extreme limitation, perhaps a commentary (conscious or not) on the factory-like production lines of 80s cartoon episodes.
* Nostalgia as Empty Signifier: The game uses the trappings of nostalgia (colorful, cartoony, “cheesy” visuals) without the content that usually justifies it (characters, story, world). It’s nostalgia without a referent, a pure aesthetic experience.
* The Fantasy of the Forgotten Franchise: It taps into a common internet cultural fantasy—the “lost” or obscure cartoon that only you remember—and gives it a playable form. The “Fantasy” setting tag from MobyGames is telling: the setting is not high fantasy (elves, dwarves) but a fantasy of nostalgia.

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3. Gameplay Mechanics & Systems: A Relic in Design

The gameplay is presented with brutal simplicity in the official description. Deconstructing this reveals a near-archaic design philosophy.

Core Loop and Combat

The loop is: Enter screen -> Fight all enemies -> Door opens -> Enter next screen. There is no mention of power-ups, score tracking beyond level completion, branching paths, or environmental interaction. Combat is solely “punches.” This is a pure, distilled 1982-1983 beat ’em up (Kung-Fu Master, Front Line) stripped of even the most basic additions from the genre’s golden age (like Double Dragon‘s weapons or Final Fight‘s character variety). The inclusion of the user tag “Perma Death” on Steam is the most staggering detail. In a game with no stated progression, no continues mentioned, and a simple “kill all to advance” rule, “Perma Death” likely means that a single loss forces a full restart of the game or level, with no save points. This is not a hardcore feature; it’s a byproduct of extreme minimalism. It transforms the experience from a casual romp into a tense, repetitive endurance test.

Progression, UI, and Innovation (or Lack Thereof)

• Character Progression: None implied. One character, no leveling, no new moves.
• UI: Presumably minimal: health (if it exists), and possibly an enemy counter.
• Innovative/Flawed Systems: There are no innovative systems. The flaws are inherent to the design:
  1. Monotony: With one move and no strategic variation against different enemy types (if they even have types), combat becomes a mindless punch-spam.
  2. Lack of Feedback: No indication of enemy attack tells, hit-stop, or satisfying sound/visual feedback for hits is described, making combat feel floaty and unresponsive by modern standards.
  3. No Rewards: The only reward is the next, thematically different level. No scores, no items, no narrative pay-off.
     The game is, mechanically, a proof-of-concept for a single-screen brawler. Its only potential innovation is the deliberate, almost academic, stripping away of all genre conventions post-1985. It asks: “What is the absolute baseline of a beat ’em up?” and answers with a game that feels like a prototype from 1983.

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4. World-Building, Art & Sound: The Sole Saving Grace (and Its Flaws)

This is where the developers’ passion is most evident and where the game’s primary value—if any—resides.

Visual Direction: Chasing the Filmation Ghost

The stated goal is to replicate the look of 80s Filmation cartoons. This means:
* Color Palette: Bright, flat, primary colors with limited shading.
* Character Design: Rubbery, simplistic proportions, large heads, simple clothing.
* Animation: Limited, potentially choppy cycles to mimic the budget-conscious original animation. The Steam screenshots and community uploads (like those from user “LPGlGhoulnix”) show a pixel-art or low-poly 2D style that attempts this “cheesy” look.
* Level Themes: The promise of “Levels with different themes” suggests a fantasy landscape—castles, forests, caves—rendered in this uniform, nostalgic style.

The success of this aesthetic is subjective and hinges entirely on the player’s fondness for that specific, often-mocked animation style. For those who see the charm in He-Man‘s visual limitations, Biscuitts 4‘s graphics could be a loving homage. For others, they will simply look dated and cheap. The “Cartoony” and “Cute” user tags support this interpretation. However, without a cohesive world or characters to populate it, these themes feel applied like a skin, not grown from a world. It’s themed minimalism.

Sound Design: The Unmentioned Element

There is zero information about sound design in any source. No mention of a soundtrack, sound effects, or voice acting. The Steam store page lists “Full Audio” support for none of its seven languages (only Interface is marked “Yes”). This is deafening in its omission. The game likely features:
* A minimal, looping chiptune-style soundtrack (fits the retro/fantasy tags).
* Basic, synthesized sound effects for punches, enemy hits, and deaths.
The absence of discussion around it suggests it is at best functional and at worst irritating or completely forgettable—a missed opportunity to further cement the 80s cartoon pastiche with theme music and vocal FX.

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5. Reception & Legacy: The Sound of One Hand Clapping

Critical and Commercial Reception at Launch

Biscuitts 4 achieved the near-impossible for a 2021 Steam release: almost total critical and public invisibility.
* Metacritic: Lists “Critic reviews are not available for Biscuitts 4 PC yet.”
* Steam User Reviews: As of the latest data, it has 4 total reviews, with a calculated score of 75/100 (3 positive, 1 negative). This is an insignificant sample size from an unknown “user” (only one review is from a “Steam Purchaser”).
* Sales & Player Count: MobyGames reports only 2 collectors (users who have added it to their collection). Steambase data shows a “Players In-Game” stat of “1”, indicating near-zero concurrent play. SteamSpy or similar estimates would likely show sales in the low hundreds, if that.
* Media Coverage: The sole link to Kotaku is a generic page listing screenshots, not a review or news article. It was not covered by any known outlets.

Its launch was, for all practical purposes, a non-event. The Early Access release (July 7, 2021) and full release (November 24, 2021) passed without remark.

Evolution of Reputation and Influence

The game has no reputation to evolve. It exists in a state of perpetual obscurity. Its influence on the industry is null. It did not spawn clones, inspire articles on minimalist design, or become a cult hit on platforms like itch.io. Its “legacy” is as a database footnote and a curiosity for completionists.

However, its existence within the industry’s ecosystem is telling:
1. The “Steam Gravitational Pull”: It demonstrates how Steam’s open submission policy (pre-2022 changes) allowed games of extremely limited scope and marketing to be listed, cluttering the store with artifacts that exist only to occupy a numeric ID.
2. Niche Fulfillment: It may have exactly satisfied its tiny target audience: a handful of individuals who did remember a cartoon called “Biscuitts” (real or imagined) and were thrilled to see a game based on it. For them, the review score is irrelevant; the game’s mere existence is the validation.
3. A Counter-Example: In an era of sprawling, content-rich indie games (Hades, Valheim), Biscuitts 4 stands as a stark reminder of the other path: the ultra-niche, mechanically sparse, reference-dependent title that aims for the heart of a micro-community and misses almost everyone else entirely.

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6. Conclusion: A Question Mark in the Library

To render a final verdict on Biscuitts 4 is to judge a ghost. As a video game, it is an almost unqualified failure by conventional metrics. It offers a single, underdeveloped character, one-dimensional combat, no progression, no narrative, and minimal audio-visual feedback. Its mechanical execution is simplistic to the point of being archaic, lacking the polish and depth expected even of retro-inspired indie titles. By any standard of gameplay value, it is not recommendable.

Yet, as a cultural artifact, it is strangely compelling. It is a pure, unadulterated expression of a specific, almost pathological form of niche nostalgia. It is a game that is about remembering a cartoon more than it is a game based on one. Its entire premise is a trick of the light, an appeal to a phantom memory. The developers at Crossplatform may have been indulging in a private joke, a love letter to a non-existent show, or simply testing the boundaries of what could be published on Steam.

The tragicomic truth of Biscuitts 4 is that its greatest innovation—the complete conflation of game and fan-fiction—is also its fatal flaw. It asks the player to do all the narrative and thematic work while providing almost nothing in the way of engaging mechanics. It is a nostalgia vessel with no cargo, a beautifully packaged (in its own way) empty box.

Its place in video game history is not on a pedestal but in a cabinet of curiosities. It belongs alongside other enigmatic, barely-documented titles like The Mandela Catalogue games or Petscop, not for its horror, but for its profound ambiguity. It is a question mark: Who made it? For whom? Did anyone play it? Did it fulfill its purpose? The answers are lost, buried under the weight of its own obscurity and the sheer, breathtaking minimalism of its design. Biscuitts 4 is not a game to be played, but a fact to be noted—a tiny, glowing speck of data in the vast dark, proof that in the democratized marketplace of modern gaming, even the most anemic idea can find its place, however silent and unseen. It earns its one star not for quality, but for sheer, baffling existence.