House of Lizards

House of Lizards is a first-person action-comedy game set in a sci-fi/futuristic world, where players navigate through a city inspired by St. Petersburg and Mars. Developed by Ancient Russ and published by Dungeon Master Games, the game features direct control mechanics and a humorous narrative, blending absurdity with fast-paced gameplay. Released in 2023, it offers a unique, lighthearted experience with a meme-inspired tone, including references to internet culture like Gachimuchi.

House of Lizards: A Bizarre, Comedic, and Unapologetically Russian FPS Experience

Introduction

In the vast, often homogenized landscape of first-person shooters, House of Lizards (2023) emerges as a gloriously unhinged anomaly—a game that defies convention with its absurd premise, surreal weaponry, and unapologetic embrace of Russian internet culture. Developed by the enigmatic studio Ancient Russ and published by Dungeon Master Games, this title is less a polished AAA experience and more a chaotic, meme-fueled love letter to the weirdest corners of gaming. With its $0.99 price tag, House of Lizards doesn’t just break the mold; it vaporizes it with a “Slavic nuke” and laughs maniacally as the pieces rain down.

This review will dissect House of Lizards in exhaustive detail, exploring its development, narrative (or lack thereof), gameplay mechanics, world-building, reception, and legacy. By the end, you’ll understand why this game is either a stroke of genius or a fever dream induced by too much Baikal Water—and why that ambiguity is its greatest strength.

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Development History & Context

The Studio: Ancient Russ and the Rise of “Gachimuchi” Gaming

Ancient Russ is not your typical game development studio. Little is known about its origins, but its output—including titles like Ancient Russian Life Simulator and Lizards Must Die—suggests a deep affinity for surreal humor, Russian folklore, and internet memes. The studio’s name itself is a nod to the mythologized “Ancient Rus,” a romanticized vision of pre-Christian Slavic civilization, often invoked in nationalist and pseudohistorical contexts.

House of Lizards is part of a broader trend in Russian indie gaming that embraces absurdity, low-poly aesthetics, and viral humor. The game’s Steam page proudly lists “Meme: Gachimuchi” as one of its groups, referencing the infamous Russian internet meme involving a bodybuilder’s grunts set to electronic music. This self-aware absurdity permeates every aspect of the game, from its weaponry to its dialogue.

Technological Constraints and Design Philosophy

Built in Unity, House of Lizards is a technically modest game, but its limitations are part of its charm. The game’s low-poly visuals, janky physics, and occasional bugs are not flaws but features—deliberate choices that enhance its surreal, almost PS1-era aesthetic. The developers have embraced the “jank as art” philosophy, where imperfections contribute to the game’s unique identity.

The game’s Photon middleware integration hints at potential multiplayer ambitions, though the current build is strictly single-player. This raises intriguing questions about the game’s future—could House of Lizards evolve into a cooperative or competitive experience? The Steam community has certainly expressed interest, with threads like “multiplayer?” and “Голосуем !!! Кто за добавление режима выживание с мултиплейером ?!!!!” (Voting!!! Who is for adding a survival mode with multiplayer?!!!!) popping up in the discussions.

The Gaming Landscape in 2023: A Year of Soulslikes and Satire

House of Lizards released on December 15, 2023, a year dominated by high-budget Soulslikes like Lies of P and Armored Core VI: Fires of Rubicon. In this context, House of Lizards stands as a deliberate counterpoint—a game that mocks the seriousness of its peers while offering a uniquely Russian flavor of humor.

The game’s Steam tags—including Comedy, Psychological Horror, Stealth, Wargame, and Immersive Sim—hint at its genre-defying nature. It’s a first-person shooter that dabbles in survival horror, RPG mechanics, and even Dungeon Crawler elements, all while maintaining a comedic tone. This eclecticism is part of its appeal, though it also contributes to the game’s occasional lack of focus.

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Narrative & Thematic Deep Dive

Plot: A Thin Veneer of Absurdity

House of Lizards doesn’t so much tell a story as it does throw the player into a series of increasingly bizarre scenarios. The premise is simple: you play as the “Great Ancient Knight”, tasked with infiltrating the Lair of the Lizards, gathering intelligence, retrieving Ancient Manuscripts, drinking Baikal Water, and ultimately destroying the lizard bases.

The game’s Steam description elaborates:

“You are the Great Ancient Knight, go undercover in the Lair of the Lizards. Get Intelligence for your Knight Brothers, return the Ancient Manuscripts to the base, take the Baikal Water and Destroy the Lizard Base!”

This is about as much narrative as you get. There’s no deep lore, no character arcs, and no moral dilemmas—just a series of objectives that serve as excuses to unleash chaos upon the lizard hordes.

Characters: Memes in Knightly Armor

The game’s cast is a roster of absurdity:

• Billyslav Herringtonov: A clear reference to the internet meme “Billy Herrington”, a bodybuilder whose image became a staple of Russian online culture. In House of Lizards, he’s reimagined as a knight, complete with a name that sounds like it was generated by a drunk AI.
• Ivan Darkholmov: Another meme-inspired character, likely a play on “Ivan the Terrible” or “Dark Souls”.
• The God Perun: A nod to the Slavic thunder god, Perun, who is summoned as a deity to smite lizards.

These characters aren’t just names—they’re inside jokes, winks to the player who’s in on the absurdity.

Themes: Nationalism, Internet Culture, and Anti-Establishment Humor

House of Lizards is steeped in Russian internet culture, particularly the “Gopnik” and “Slavic meme” subcultures. The game’s humor is deeply rooted in:

1. Anti-Western Sentiment: The lizards are often depicted as invaders, a thinly veiled metaphor for perceived Western cultural imperialism. The game’s setting—Saint Petersburg—is a former Russian capital, and the idea of “reclaiming” it from lizards is a nationalist fantasy.
2. Absurdist Comedy: The game’s weapons—like the “Slavic nuke” and “magical vape pen”—are pure surrealism, designed to elicit laughter rather than awe.
3. Nostalgia for Soviet Kitsch: The game’s aesthetic borrows from Soviet-era sci-fi, with its Ancient Slavic Spaceships and references to Hyperborea, a mythical land often invoked in Russian pseudohistory.

Dialogue and Localization: A Multilingual Meme

The game supports 30 languages, from English to Vietnamese, but the humor is distinctly Russian. The Steam community discussions are filled with players debating the game’s tags and sharing screenshots of its most absurd moments. One user, “Chilly Willy”, laments:

“♥♥♥♥ не могу поиграть в шедевр ебатьебучих ящеров за русь матушку!!!! падла работает только выход и смена языка вверху справа, остальное не кликает вообще че делать помогите братцы славяне!!!!!”

Translation: “I can’t play this masterpiece of ♥♥♥♥ing lizards for Mother Russia!!! Only the exit and language change in the top right work, nothing else clicks at all, what to do, help me, Slavic brothers!!!!!”

This kind of over-the-top, self-deprecating humor is central to the game’s appeal.

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Gameplay Mechanics & Systems

Core Gameplay Loop: Shoot Lizards, Collect Stuff, Repeat

House of Lizards is, at its core, a first-person shooter with light RPG and survival elements. The gameplay loop is straightforward:

1. Infiltrate a lizard-infested area (e.g., Lizard Camp, Lake Baikal, Mars, Nibiru).
2. Kill lizards using an arsenal of absurd weapons.
3. Collect Ancient Manuscripts and Baikal Water.
4. Return to base and prepare for the next mission.

The game’s Steam achievements—100 in total—encourage exploration and experimentation, though many are clearly designed for comedic effect (e.g., “Easy Target”).

Combat: Where Memes Meet Mayhem

The combat in House of Lizards is deliberately janky and over-the-top. Weapons include:

• Magical Vape Pen: Incapacitates lizards and restores health. A clear nod to Russian vaping culture.
• “Slavic Mile Barrage”: A rapid-fire attack that knocks enemies off their feet.
• “Slavic Nuke”: A screen-clearing explosion that’s as ridiculous as it sounds.
• “Huge Asses”: A melee weapon that crushes lizards between two massive posterior models.

The game’s MyGamer review highlights the absurdity:

“From my two to three hours of gametime, I had the pleasure of using my magical vape pen to incapacitate lizards and to gain a little health boost; crushing my enemies between what look like a pair of huge asses and using a ‘Slavic mile barrage’ to knock my foes off their feet.”

Combat is fast-paced and chaotic, with little emphasis on tactics. The game’s Steam tags—Action, Survival Horror, Stealth—are somewhat misleading, as House of Lizards is more about mindless fun than strategic depth.

Progression and UI: Minimalist to a Fault

The game’s UI is barebones, with little in the way of tutorials or explanations. This has drawn criticism from reviewers, including Michael P. Cleworth of MyGamer:

“As fun as House of Lizards is to play, it comes with very little instruction regarding what you actually have to do. The result of this is being thrown to the lizards with no idea about your goal, your story or how to fight.”

The lack of guidance is intentional, reinforcing the game’s “figure it out yourself” ethos. However, it can be frustrating for newcomers.

Innovative (or Flawed?) Systems

House of Lizards experiments with several mechanics that are either brilliant or broken, depending on your perspective:

1. Baikal Water as a Health Mechanic: Drinking 18 cans of Baikal Water (a real-life Russian soft drink) restores health and grants buffs. It’s a clever nod to Russian culture but feels underutilized.
2. Ancient Manuscripts as Lore: The game’s 5 Ancient Manuscripts are supposed to provide backstory, but their content is as cryptic as the game itself.
3. Great Knights Summoning: Players can call upon Billyslav Herringtonov, Ivan Darkholmov, and the God Perun for assistance, but these mechanics are poorly explained.

The game’s Steam community has taken to documenting these systems in guides, such as the “Achievements guide” by Easy Target, which promises “~1h to 100%” completion.

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World-Building, Art & Sound

Setting: A Surreal Tour of Russian Myth and Sci-Fi

House of Lizards takes players across six locations, each more absurd than the last:

1. Lizard Camp: A forest outpost near the mythical city of Hyperborea.
2. Lake Baikal: A battleground where players must “return Baikal to the Native Harbor.”
3. Mars: A diversion mission to a Lizard Military Base.
4. Nibiru: The lizards’ home planet, a nod to conspiracy theories.
5. Saint Petersburg: A city overrun by lizards, where players “hunt down each Lizard.”
6. New Year’s Winter Forest: A festive level where players “chase away the Lizards from the Great Christmas Forest.”

The game’s art direction is a mix of low-poly 3D models, surreal landscapes, and Soviet-era sci-fi aesthetics. The Ancient Slavic Spaceships, described as “assembled on the basis of technologies stolen from the Lizards,” are a highlight, blending myth and retro-futurism.

Atmosphere: Horror? Comedy? Both?

The game’s Steam tags include Psychological Horror and Survival Horror, but House of Lizards is far from scary. Instead, it cultivates an atmosphere of absurdist dread, where the horror comes from the sheer weirdness of the scenario.

The sound design enhances this tone. The game’s Steam community has repeatedly asked for a soundtrack release, with one user, “utility chel”, pleading:

“мужики, где саундпак игры найти весь инет прошерстил. не могу найти из этого шедевра треки. линканите названия или плейлист”

Translation: “Guys, where can I find the game’s soundtrack? I’ve scoured the entire internet. Can’t find the tracks from this masterpiece. Link me the names or a playlist.”

The music is a mix of eerie ambient tracks, electronic beats, and occasional Slavic folk instruments, all contributing to the game’s unique vibe.

Visuals: Jank as Art

House of Lizards is not a graphical powerhouse, but its low-poly aesthetic is deliberate. The game’s Steam screenshots showcase its stylized, almost PS1-era visuals, which evoke nostalgia for the early days of 3D gaming.

The character models—particularly the lizards—are intentionally ugly, with exaggerated features and janky animations. This isn’t a bug; it’s a feature. The game’s Steam reviews often praise its “charming ugliness”, with one user calling it “GOATED” after just 10 minutes of playtime.

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Reception & Legacy

Critical Reception: A Cult Classic in the Making

House of Lizards has received overwhelmingly positive reviews on Steam, with a Very Positive (85%) rating from 369 reviews as of January 2026. Players praise its humor, absurdity, and sheer entertainment value, though some criticize its lack of polish and guidance.

Michael P. Cleworth of MyGamer gave the game a 7/10, concluding:

“The crazy weapons and fun pace of play more than make up for the lack of great graphics or storyline. House of Lizards is one of those games that’s so quick to play (at my skill level, anyway) that you end up playing for hours beyond your intended limit. Sometimes simplicity is key and this Ancient Russel title is testament to that very fact. Fun, comedic and bizarre. What more could we ask?”

The game’s Steam community has embraced it as a cult classic, with threads like “Даже ЭТО лучше, чем Старфилд” (“Even THIS is better than Starfield”) and “помогите плез че делать братья славяне!!!” (“Help please what to do Slavic brothers!!!”) showcasing its dedicated fanbase.

Commercial Performance: A $0.99 Phenomenon

At $0.99 (or $0.49 on Linux/Mac), House of Lizards is an impulse buy for many players. Its Steam charts show consistent sales, with 18 players in-game as of January 2026—a modest but respectable number for an indie title.

The game’s Steambase Player Score is 86/100, indicating strong player satisfaction. Its Steam reviews are overwhelmingly positive, with players calling it “GOATED”, “10/10 Would vape again”, and “this is a game.”

Influence and Legacy: The Rise of “Meme FPS” Games

House of Lizards is part of a growing trend of “meme FPS” games—titles that prioritize humor, absurdity, and internet culture over traditional gameplay. Other examples include:

• Lizards Must Die (2023)
• Escape Lizards (2017)
• Licky Licky Lizards (2010)

These games thrive on Steam’s indie-friendly ecosystem, where low prices and viral humor can lead to unexpected success. House of Lizards has already inspired fan art, memes, and even a Russian Let’s Play series by Chemiker, who has uploaded a 6-part walkthrough of the game.

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Conclusion: A Game That Defies Classification

House of Lizards is not a masterpiece in the traditional sense. It’s janky, confusing, and deliberately absurd. But that’s exactly why it works. In an era of hyper-polished, $70 AAA games, House of Lizards is a breath of fresh air—a reminder that games can be fun, weird, and unapologetically themselves.

Final Verdict: 8/10 – A Glorious, Unhinged Masterpiece of Meme Gaming

Pros:
– Hilariously absurd weapons and humor
– Unique blend of Russian internet culture and FPS gameplay
– Low price point makes it an easy recommendation
– Strong community engagement and meme potential

Cons:
– Lack of tutorials or guidance can be frustrating
– Janky mechanics and occasional bugs
– Narrative is virtually nonexistent

House of Lizards is the kind of game that divides players—some will love its chaotic energy, while others will dismiss it as unfinished or lazy. But for those who embrace the absurd, it’s a hidden gem—a game that doesn’t just break the rules but laughs as it burns them to the ground.

Should you play it? If you’ve ever wanted to vape your way to victory, crush lizards with giant asses, or nuke Mars in the name of Mother Russia, then absolutely. Just don’t expect deep storytelling or polished gameplay. Expect fun, memes, and a whole lot of Slavic chaos.

Final Score: 8/10 – “GOATED” (as one Steam user so eloquently put it).

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Additional Resources

• Steam Page: House of Lizards on Steam
• MyGamer Review: House of Lizards (PC) Review
• Steam Community Hub: House of Lizards Discussions
• Steambase Stats: House of Lizards Reviews & Stats

House of Lizards is more than a game—it’s a cultural artifact, a meme in playable form, and a testament to the power of absurdity in gaming. Whether it’s a flawed gem or a brilliant mess depends on your perspective. But one thing is certain: you won’t find anything else quite like it.

Now go forth, Ancient Knight. The lizards await. 🦎🔥