Planet Alcatraz

Planet Alcatraz is a real-time, post-apocalyptic RPG set in a dark cyberpunk prison planet. Players control Boar, an imperial trooper cadet disguised as a convict, on a mission to locate scattered comrades and destroy a rogue spaceship built by prisoners. The game features a non-linear plot, extensive dialogues, Fallout-style character development with Traits and Perks, and real-time with pause combat, all infused with politically incorrect black humor depicting themes like slavery and cannibalism.

Planet Alcatraz: Review

Introduction

In the vast, often-overlooked archives of mid‑2000s PC gaming, few titles capture the chaotic energy and unapologetic crudeness of post‑Soviet development quite like Planet Alcatraz. Released in 2006 by the Russian publisher 1C Company, this isometric role‑playing game masquerades as a tactical shooter, a dark satire, and a Fallout homage—all at once. Its creative nucleus comes from Dmitry “Goblin” Puchkov, a cult figure known for his biting translations and irreverent humor. The result is a game that bursts with political incorrectness, bizarre characters, and a genuinely unique setting, yet collapses under the weight of a notoriously botched English translation, repetitive combat, and a half‑baked role‑playing system. Planet Alcatraz is not merely a bad game; it is a fascinating, deeply flawed artifact that embodies both the ambition and the limitations of its time and place. This review will dissect the game from every angle—development, narrative, mechanics, art, and legacy—to argue that beneath its rough exterior lies an experience that, for the right player, is as rewarding as it is cringe‑inducing.

Development History & Context

The Studio and Its Vision

1C Company, a heavyweight Russian publisher responsible for everything from Theatre of War to Dawn of Magic, took the reins on Planet Alcatraz. The game was developed by a team of roughly 78 developers (101 total credits) under the guidance of creative director Peter Vysotin and key contributors Vitaliy Melehin (interface, 3D FX) and Vasiliy Medvedev (map editor). Their technical foundation was “TheEngine”, the same 3D engine that powered the hack‑and‑slash title Dawn of Magic, indicating a pragmatic reuse of existing technology to keep costs down.

Dmitry Puchkov’s Influence

The game’s concept originates from the only book written by Dmitry Puchkov, a Russian celebrity translator famous for his “Goblin’s Translations” and his theories on linguistic fidelity. Puchkov served as a consultant, infusing the project with his trademark black humor and a deliberately offensive take on prison culture. According to TV Tropes, he pushed for extreme content—more prison sex and an all‑male cast—but executive meddling forced compromises; women were included (smuggled in and sterilized) and some of the more lurid elements were softened. Still, the final product retains a vicious, satirical edge that is unmistakably Puchkov’s.

Technological and Market Context

2006 was a period of transition for Russian game development. Studios were experimenting with 3D engines and Western‑style RPGs, but budgets were tight and tools uneven. Planet Alcatraz straddles the line between ambition and corner‑cutting: it uses a reusable engine, recycles assets, and relies heavily on text‑driven design. The team explicitly described it as a hybrid of Neverwinter Nights and Fallout—a lofty goal that inevitably exposed gaps in implementation. In the West, the game arrived with a rushed English translation that would become its most infamous characteristic, but in Russia it received relatively positive reviews and even spawned a sequel in 2008.

Narrative & Thematic Deep Dive

Plot Overview

The player assumes the role of Boar, one of four imperial saboteur cadets from the Deathmatch Imperial Academy. Their final exam: infiltrate the notorious prison planet 2‑4A33713/2—nicknamed “Sailor’s Silence” (or “Alcatraz” in the localized title)—disguised as convicts, locate a clandestine spaceship being built by the inmates, and destroy it via an orbital “Kill Sat”. After a crash landing, the cadets are scattered. Boar must reunite his squad (Sullen, Agronomist, Urologist, and others, depending on translation) and complete the mission.

Setting and World‑Building

The planet is a Crapsack World of staggering depravity. It is divided into factional enclaves that mirror real‑world prison gangs: “white”, “black”, and “yellow” settlements (explicitly named in the Russian version, but bow