The Adventures of Square

In the whimsical world of Shape Land, the edgy hero Square embarks on a quest to rescue the brilliant Doctor Octagon from the nefarious Circle of Evil, a malevolent cabal of circles plotting world domination. This humorous, cartoonish first-person shooter, built on a modified GZDoom engine inspired by Doom, features classic gameplay elements like key hunts, switch puzzles, and battles against circle-shaped villains and rogue robots, enhanced with innovative mechanics such as throwable grenades, carryable TNT crates, and witty one-liners from Square amid scripted sequences.

The Adventures of Square: Review

Introduction

Imagine a world where geometric shapes wage war with paint guns and puns, where a square-jawed hero blasts through hordes of villainous circles in a frenzy of retro-fueled chaos. The Adventures of Square (2014) isn’t just another Doom clone—it’s a vibrant, standalone love letter to the golden age of first-person shooters, wrapped in a cartoonish shell of absurdity and wit. Released by the indie collective BigBrik Games, this freeware gem hails from the fertile ground of the Doom modding community, transforming the iconic id Tech 1 engine into a playground of shapes, explosions, and lactose-intolerant quips. As a game historian, I’ve seen countless tributes to Doom’s legacy, but few capture its spirit with such unbridled joy and innovation. My thesis: The Adventures of Square stands as a triumphant example of how community-driven creativity can revitalize a 30-year-old engine, delivering a hilarious, tightly designed FPS that punches above its weight in humor, mechanics, and cultural impact—earning its place as a modern classic for retro enthusiasts.

Development History & Context

BigBrik Games, a ragtag team of Doom veterans scattered across Australia, the United Kingdom, and the United States, birthed The Adventures of Square from humble beginnings. Led by project head James “Jimmy” Paddock, the game originated as a one-man passion project in the early 2010s, inspired by the endless modding possibilities of the ZDoom/GZDoom source ports. Paddock’s original concept—courtesy of his brother Ben—envisioned a shape-based parody of classic FPS tropes, but it quickly ballooned into a collaborative effort involving over 70 contributors, including mappers like Xaser Acheron, Richard “Tarnsman” Frei, and Augustus “Alfonzo” Knezevich; coders Matt “MTrop” Tropiano and Captain J; and musicians such as Jazz Mickle and Paul Corfiatis.

The technological constraints of the era played a pivotal role. Built on GZDoom (an advanced fork of the 1993 Doom engine), the game leverages open-source enhancements like dynamic lighting, scripted events, and slope support—features absent from vanilla Doom but essential for its ambitious level designs and physics. Released in 2014 during a boom in retro revivals (think Dusk or Amid Evil), The Adventures of Square arrived amid a landscape dominated by AAA shooters like Destiny and Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare. Yet, it carved a niche in the indie freeware scene, where modders were pushing engines like Unity and Unreal toward nostalgia. The first episode, Cornered by Circles: Radial Dawn, dropped on November 7, 2014, as a free download, followed by the second, Galactic Lunacy: A Small Step for Square, in April 2018. A third episode was teased but remains unrealized, leaving the “Secant Edition” (version 2.1, 2019) as the definitive package—complete with Windows, macOS, and PK3 support for expert users. This DIY ethos, fueled by forums like Doomworld and ZDoom.org, underscores the game’s context: a grassroots rebellion against bloated modern gaming, proving that low-fi tools could yield high-art results.

Narrative & Thematic Deep Dive

At its core, The Adventures of Square spins a delightfully pulpy tale of heroism in Shape Land, a whimsical realm where polygons live, love, and ludicrously feud. Our protagonist, Square—a chain-smoking, pun-slinging everyman with arms, legs, and an unshakeable sense of justice—embarks on a quest to rescue the brilliant Dr. Octagon, Shape Land’s tech pioneer and founder of Octotech Industries. Kidnapped by the Circle of Evil, a cult of angular antagonists bent on geometric domination, Octagon is coerced into engineering their conquest. What begins as a straightforward rescue mission unfolds across two episodes: Episode 1 grounds us in Squaresville’s urban sprawl and industrial underbelly, culminating in a boss battle against the colossal Destructinator mech; Episode 2 blasts off to a moon base rife with low-gravity hijinks, cheesy landscapes (literally, with molten cheddar rivers), and a climactic showdown with the demonic Shadius.

The plot is a masterclass in comedic escalation, blending Doom‘s relentless action with Duke Nukem-esque bravado. Square’s voice-acted one-liners—”Nobody puts Square in the corner!” or “Get off my plane!”—pepper every encounter, turning combat into a vaudeville routine. Characters are archetypal yet endearing: the hapless purple polygon civilians (innocent bystanders who flee or beg for mercy) highlight themes of collateral damage in a war-torn utopia; the Circle Jerk mooks (a stealth pun on their cultish fervor) embody blind fanaticism, spawning from clone vats in a nod to dystopian sci-fi. Dr. Octagon’s mid-game twist—a willing collaborator with the circles, revealed in a cutscene betrayal—adds layers of intrigue, subverting the distressed-dude trope and questioning heroism’s cost. Square’s lactose intolerance, triggered by the moon’s dairy horrors, injects personal vulnerability, while broader themes explore technological overreach (Octotech’s logos everywhere) and cultish conformity versus individualistic rebellion.

Dialogue crackles with shape-themed wordplay: levels like “Sewerside” elicit Square’s groan, “Why does it have to be a sewer?”; the haunted lunar castle prompts “This cow motif is getting a little out of hand.” Underneath the puns lies a satirical edge—a “crapsaccharine world” where cartoon visuals mask military brutality, civilians gunned down in streets, and alliances shatter like glass. It’s a thematic deep dive into FPS absurdity, critiquing blind loyalty while celebrating the genre’s escapist thrills, all without taking itself seriously.

Gameplay Mechanics & Systems

The Adventures of Square faithfully recreates Doom’s core loop—key-hunting, switch-flipping, enemy-slaying en route to level exits—but infuses it with GZDoom’s bells and whistles for a fresh twist. Combat is fast and fluid, emphasizing movement in tight, multi-tiered arenas. Square starts with the infinite-ammo purple Paint Gun, a reliable pea-shooter for pixel-perfect sniping, upgradable to dual-wield blue variants for dakka overload. The arsenal escalates wildly: the Oozi spews inaccurate ooze streams (dual-wieldable for suppressive fire); the Shotbow and Quadcannon deliver short-range shotgun blasts; the triple-barreled Paintgun Cannon mimics Duke Nukem 3D‘s chaingun for rapid, accurate barrages; the Hellshell Launcher enables rocket jumps to secrets; the Cresceptre hurls homing magic marbles; and the Defibrillator melee zaps foes (or shorts out in water). Goonades, throwable grenades that splatter corrosive goo, can be lobbed mid-fire for tactical depth.

Enemies form a diverse bestiary: weak Knife Jerks as Goombas, swarming Angle Fish in waters, explosive Cylonders and Tritankles as mecha-mooks, and bosses like the teleport-spamming Destructinator or summon-happy Shadius. Progression ties to classic Doom gating—keys unlock paths amid environmental puzzles, like carrying TNT crates to blast weak walls or donning Fishtanks for underwater/vacuum traversal. UI is clean and nostalgic: an automap, state saves (anywhere!), and health via hyperactive metabolism (burgers heal 10%, Circool-Aid restores 100%). Power-ups like the Devil Sphere (quad damage) or Holy Sphere (invincibility + flight) encourage aggressive play.

Innovations shine: low-gravity moon sections demand platforming with rocket boosts; exploding barrels (TNT, Nukage, Fizz-O) add chain-reaction chaos. Flaws? Higher difficulties like “CUBULAR!” amp enemy speed and swap heals for duds, potentially frustrating newcomers, and multiplayer “Square-Off” deathmatch feels underdeveloped without Zandronum support. Yet, the Time Attack mode—speedrunning enemy-infested DM maps—adds replayability. Overall, it’s a deconstructed delight: intuitive yet layered, rewarding mastery without overwhelming.

World-Building, Art & Sound

Shape Land bursts with personality, a kaleidoscopic fusion of pastoral idyll and industrial nightmare. Episode 1’s Squaresville evolves from sunny Green Hill-esque fields (E1A1: Welcome to Squaresville) to grimy sewers (E1A2), cascading creeks (E1A3: Up Shape Creek), and fizz-pop factories (E1A8), all teeming with subverted security robots and cult lairs. Episode 2’s lunar odyssey amps the absurdity: space stations (E2A1: Port Jarlsburger), cheese craters (E2A3), eerie blue forests (E2A5: Wild Bleu Yonder), and Egyptian cow-pyramids (secret E2A12: Great Pyramid of Gouda). Absurd touches—like milk rivers, haunted cheddarcombs, or a Wild West saloon on the moon—build an atmosphere of playful peril, where convection-schmonvection lava (or boiling cyan water) kills on touch, but proximity is fine.

Art direction is a pixel-art triumph, evoking EGA-era Commander Keen with vibrant, hand-drawn textures and cel-shaded sprites. Living polyhedra enemies gib into colorful globs and floating eyes; environments pop with bold colors—no muted palettes here. Slopes and dynamic lighting create verticality, from arctic labs’ slippery ice to vacuum voids requiring timed Fishtank pickups. Sound design amplifies immersion: muffled audio in space downplays noiseless voids; ambient echoes in sewers or frantic MIDI swells during rising lava (E2A9: Queso Chasm) heighten tension. The OST, a 30+ track MIDI masterpiece, blends chiptune nostalgia with rock—Xaser Acheron’s “i am a vacuum cleaner” for breezy starts, Jazz Mickle’s boss jams like “store it in the phryg.” Voice acting (Marian Paddock, Matt Tropiano, Matt Cibulas) delivers Square’s bond one-liners with gravelly charm, while Foley effects—farting Jetpack Jerks, sizzling hot sauce breaths—infuse humor. These elements coalesce into a sensory feast, making every level a thematic vignette that enhances the comedic FPS experience.

Reception & Legacy

Upon Episode 1’s 2014 launch, The Adventures of Square exploded in the Doom community, snagging a Cacoward from Doomworld for its “unmitigated joy” and polished freeware execution. Critics like David Szymanski (DUSK creator) hailed it as “AWESOME,” while Rock Paper Shotgun’s Dominic Tarason praised its $20-worthy production values. Player ratings hover at 4.7/5 on MobyGames and itch.io (34 reviews), lauding the puns and maps; specific levels like E2A5 (“Wild Bleu Yonder,” #16 in Doomworld’s Top 100) and E1A9 (“Launch Base,” runner-up) became modding benchmarks. Commercially, as freeware, it amassed thousands of downloads, featured at events like GameCity 9 and EGX Rezzed 2015, fostering a cult following.

Episode 2’s 2018 Cacoward solidified its rep, but the unfinished third episode tempered long-term hype. Legacy-wise, it influenced indie FPS like DUSK (via team crossovers) and revived GZDoom interest, inspiring map kits for community expansions. In broader history, it exemplifies 2010s retro renaissance—proving fan games could rival indies—while its shape-pun world-building echoes in titles like Totally Accurate Battle Simulator. No major controversies, but its niche appeal limits mainstream reach; still, it’s a beacon for preservationists, downloaded via Lutris and archived on DoomWiki.

Conclusion

The Adventures of Square is more than a Doom homage—it’s a riotous reinvention, blending blistering action, pun-drenched narrative, and pixel-perfect art into a free package that demands no prerequisites yet rewards deep dives. From BigBrik’s collaborative grit to its Cacoward-crowned episodes, it captures FPS essence while subverting it with shape-shifting whimsy. Flaws like uneven difficulty and incomplete story aside, its innovations in humor, sound, and design cement its verdict: an essential retro gem, hip to be square in video game history’s polygonal pantheon. Download it today—it’s free, it’s fun, and it’s forever. 9/10.