The Culling of the Cows

The Culling of the Cows is a 2D side-scrolling defense game where players take on the role of Sammy, a gun-wielding farmer tasked with protecting his farm from waves of mutated animals and creatures. Set across various levels, each depicted in a single screen with the farmer positioned on the left, the game challenges players to fend off relentless attacks from the right using a shotgun and an array of upgrades, ammo types, and special abilities. With a mix of strategic resource management, fast-paced shooting, and survival mechanics, players must prevent enemies from overrunning the farm while tackling optional objectives and boss fights.

The Culling of the Cows: A Bizarre, Blood-Soaked Ode to Tower Defense

Introduction: The Farmer’s Last Stand

In the annals of video game history, few titles dare to blend the absurd with the visceral as boldly as The Culling of the Cows. Released in 2014 by the obscure studio Decaying-Logic, this side-scrolling shooter-tower defense hybrid thrusts players into the muddy boots of Sammy, a schizophrenic farmer on a divine mission to purge his land of diseased, mutated livestock. With a shotgun in hand and the voice of God whispering in his ear, Sammy stands as the last line of defense against waves of undead cows, zombies, and other grotesque abominations. The game’s premise is as ridiculous as it is grim, a darkly comedic take on survival horror that leans heavily into its B-movie aesthetic.

Yet, beneath its crudely rendered exterior and intentionally campy tone, The Culling of the Cows is a fascinating artifact of indie game design—a title that embraces its limitations while carving out a niche identity. It’s a game that defies easy categorization, straddling the line between tower defense, shooter, and survival horror, all while dripping with gore and gallows humor. This review will dissect the game’s development, narrative quirks, mechanical intricacies, and lasting legacy, ultimately arguing that The Culling of the Cows is a flawed but unforgettable experiment in indie game design.

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Development History & Context: The Birth of a B-Movie Masterpiece

The Studio Behind the Slaughter

The Culling of the Cows was developed by Decaying-Logic, a small indie studio with a penchant for the macabre and the absurd. The team, led by figures like Jano Gómez Pablos and Matt D.C., had previously worked on titles like Pixel Puzzles: UndeadZ, a series of undead-themed jigsaw puzzles that hinted at their fascination with horror and dark humor. Their collaboration with publishers Kingstill International Software Services Ltd. and DL Softworks brought The Culling of the Cows to life, though the game’s modest budget and scope are evident in its final form.

The studio’s approach was unapologetically low-fi, embracing the aesthetic of early 2000s Flash games and indie horror. This was not a game aiming for photorealism or AAA polish; instead, it leaned into its rough edges, using them to amplify its B-movie charm. The result is a game that feels like a lost relic from the Newgrounds era, complete with exaggerated violence, over-the-top voice acting, and a narrative that oscillates between nonsensical and oddly compelling.

The Gaming Landscape of 2014

The Culling of the Cows arrived in May 2014, a time when the indie game scene was flourishing. Titles like Shovel Knight, Darkest Dungeon, and The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth were redefining what indie games could achieve, blending retro aesthetics with modern design sensibilities. Tower defense games, too, were enjoying a renaissance, with titles like Orcs Must Die! 2 and Defense Grid 2 refining the genre’s mechanics.

However, The Culling of the Cows stood apart from these contemporaries. While other tower defense games emphasized strategic depth and polished presentation, Decaying-Logic’s creation was unabashedly crude, prioritizing shock value and humor over refinement. It was a game that didn’t just break the fourth wall—it demolished it with a shotgun blast, inviting players into a world where logic took a backseat to sheer, unhinged spectacle.

Technological Constraints and Creative Workarounds

The game’s technical limitations are impossible to ignore. Running on a 2D side-scrolling engine with fixed flip-screen perspectives, The Culling of the Cows lacks the fluidity of modern indie titles. Sammy’s movement is stiff, the hitboxes are notoriously finicky, and the visuals are reminiscent of a mid-2000s Flash game. Yet, these constraints forced the developers to get creative. The game’s reliance on a single-screen, wave-based structure allowed for tight, arcade-like gameplay loops, while the limited animation frames gave the enemies a jerky, almost stop-motion quality that amplified their unsettling nature.

The sound design, too, is a product of its era. The voice acting is deliberately over-the-top, with Sammy’s schizophrenic mutterings and the game’s exaggerated sound effects leaning into the campy horror aesthetic. The soundtrack, a mix of twangy country tunes and ominous drones, further reinforces the game’s B-movie vibe. It’s a sensory experience that feels intentionally lo-fi, as if the developers were channeling the spirit of grindhouse cinema into a video game.

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Narrative & Thematic Deep Dive: A Farmer’s Descent into Madness

The Plot: Divine Mission or Delusional Rampage?

The Culling of the Cows opens with Sammy, a grizzled farmer, clutching a briefcase labeled “Project Z.” The game offers little in the way of traditional exposition, instead dropping players into the action with only cryptic hints about the world’s state. The briefcase suggests a larger conspiracy—perhaps a government experiment gone wrong—but the game never fully explains what “Project Z” entails. This ambiguity is part of the game’s charm, leaving players to piece together the narrative from environmental details and Sammy’s increasingly unhinged monologues.

The core premise is simple: Sammy’s farm is under siege by waves of mutated cows, zombies, and other monstrosities. His mission, as dictated by a divine voice (or perhaps his own fractured psyche), is to cull the herd before the infection spreads. The game’s levels are framed as a series of last stands, with Sammy defending his barn from increasingly grotesque waves of enemies. The narrative is minimal, but the implications are darkly humorous. Is Sammy a hero fighting off an apocalyptic plague, or is he a delusional madman slaughtering innocent animals? The game never provides a definitive answer, leaving players to interpret his actions as either heroic or horrific.

Characters: Sammy and His Grotesque Foes

Sammy is the game’s sole playable character, and his design is a deliberate caricature of the “crazy old farmer” archetype. With his overalls, straw hat, and shotgun, he’s a walking stereotype, but the game subverts expectations by hinting at deeper layers to his character. His schizophrenic episodes, represented through distorted voiceovers and surreal visual cues, suggest a man teetering on the edge of sanity. The briefcase he carries in the opening cutscene hints at a past he’s trying to outrun, but the game never fully explores these threads.

The enemies, meanwhile, are a rogues’ gallery of absurd horrors. The mutated cows are the stars of the show, with variations that include:
– Slow, shambling cows: The game’s equivalent of zombies, lumbering toward the barn with single-minded determination.
– Charging cows: Faster, more aggressive variants that require quick reflexes to dispatch.
– Explosive cows: Suicide bombers that detonate upon contact, forcing players to prioritize targets carefully.
– Zigzag cows: Erratic, unpredictable foes that weave back and forth, making them harder to hit.

Beyond the cows, Sammy faces off against crows that dive-bomb from above, zombies that shuffle toward the barn, and “baseball guys”—human enemies armed with bats who require multiple shots to take down. The game’s boss fights, such as the infamous “Nazi UFO” encounter, ramp up the absurdity, culminating in a final showdown that feels like the climax of a low-budget horror flick.

Themes: Madness, Survival, and the Absurd

The Culling of the Cows is, at its core, a game about survival in the face of overwhelming chaos. Sammy’s farm is a microcosm of a world gone mad, and his shotgun is the only thing standing between order and annihilation. The game’s themes of isolation and desperation are amplified by its minimalist storytelling, which relies on environmental details and Sammy’s fragmented dialogue to convey its narrative.

Yet, the game never takes itself too seriously. The over-the-top gore, the exaggerated enemy designs, and the campy voice acting all serve to undercut any sense of genuine horror, replacing it with a darkly comedic tone. The game’s title itself is a pun, playing on the double meaning of “culling” (both the act of slaughtering animals and the idea of thinning a herd). This duality is central to the game’s identity: it’s both a serious survival challenge and a ridiculous, blood-soaked farce.

The game’s most intriguing thematic element is its exploration of Sammy’s mental state. His schizophrenic episodes, represented through distorted audio and surreal visuals, suggest that the entire scenario might be a delusion. Are the mutated cows real, or are they manifestations of Sammy’s fractured psyche? The game never provides a clear answer, leaving players to grapple with the ambiguity. This narrative ambiguity elevates The Culling of the Cows beyond a simple shooter, imbuing it with a layer of psychological depth that’s rare in the genre.

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Gameplay Mechanics & Systems: A Blood-Soaked Tower Defense

Core Gameplay Loop: Defend the Barn at All Costs

The Culling of the Cows is, at its heart, a tower defense game with shooter elements. Each level tasks Sammy with defending his barn from waves of enemies that approach from the right side of the screen. The goal is to prevent a set number of enemies from reaching the barn, with some levels imposing a “zero tolerance” rule where even a single breach results in failure. The game’s structure is reminiscent of classic arcade shooters, with a strong emphasis on high scores, wave-based progression, and strategic resource management.

Sammy’s primary weapon is his shotgun, which must be reloaded manually between shots. This mechanic adds a layer of tension to the gameplay, as players must balance offensive pressure with the need to reload. The shotgun’s limited ammo capacity forces players to make every shot count, especially in the later levels where enemies become more numerous and resilient.

Upgrades and Customization: Turning Sammy into a One-Man Army

One of the game’s most engaging mechanics is its upgrade system. Between waves, players can spend cash (earned by killing enemies or calling in supply drops) on a variety of upgrades, including:
– Ammo upgrades: Increased ammo capacity, faster reload speeds, and specialized rounds (e.g., piercing shots, explosive shells).
– Weapon upgrades: Enhanced bullet damage, laser sights for improved accuracy, and extended range.
– Assist abilities: Temporary defensive measures like sentry guns, walls of fire, and airstrikes that can turn the tide of battle.

These upgrades allow players to tailor Sammy’s loadout to their playstyle, whether they prefer a run-and-gun approach or a more methodical, defensive strategy. The assist abilities, in particular, add a tower defense-like layer to the gameplay, as players must decide when to deploy limited-use tools like the barn-mounted saw or the meteor strike.

Supply Drops and Risk vs. Reward

A unique feature of The Culling of the Cows is its supply drop system. At any point during a level, players can call in a free supply drop, which randomly grants one of several bonuses:
– Cash: Additional funds for upgrades.
– Ammo refill: A full reload of Sammy’s shotgun.
– Time slowdown: A temporary slow-motion effect that makes dodging and aiming easier.
– Invincibility: A brief period of invulnerability, allowing players to weather overwhelming enemy waves.
– Infinite bullets: A short-lived but game-changing buff that lets Sammy mow down enemies without reloading.

The randomness of the supply drops adds an element of unpredictability to the gameplay. Players must weigh the risk of calling in a drop (which leaves Sammy vulnerable while it descends) against the potential reward. This mechanic encourages strategic thinking, as players must decide whether to hoard supply drops for emergencies or use them proactively to gain an edge.

Enemy Variety and Boss Fights: From Cows to Cosmic Horrors

The game’s enemy design is one of its strongest suits. The mutated cows, in particular, are a masterclass in absurd horror, with each variant presenting a unique challenge. The slow, shambling cows are easy to dispatch but can overwhelm players in large numbers, while the charging cows require quick reflexes and precise aiming. The explosive cows add a layer of tension, as their detonations can wipe out entire waves—or Sammy himself if he’s not careful.

The boss fights are where the game’s creativity truly shines. The “Nazi UFO” encounter, for example, is a surreal, over-the-top battle that feels like it was lifted straight from a grindhouse film. The final boss, a monstrous amalgamation of flesh and machinery, is a fitting climax to Sammy’s descent into madness. These fights test players’ mastery of the game’s mechanics, requiring quick thinking, precise aiming, and strategic use of upgrades and assist abilities.

Flaws and Frustrations: The Dark Side of the Culling

Despite its strengths, The Culling of the Cows is not without its flaws. The most commonly cited issue is the game’s hitbox problems, which can make aiming feel inconsistent. Bullets that appear to hit enemies sometimes miss, leading to frustrating deaths. The game’s lack of checkpoints is another major pain point; dying in the later waves of a level forces players to restart from the beginning, a design choice that feels punitive rather than challenging.

The game’s difficulty curve is also uneven. Early levels are relatively forgiving, but the later stages ramp up the challenge abruptly, with enemy waves becoming overwhelmingly dense. The absence of a proper tutorial exacerbates this issue, leaving players to figure out the game’s mechanics through trial and error. While this approach can be rewarding for veteran players, it may alienate newcomers.

Finally, the game’s repetitive structure can wear thin over time. While the enemy variety and boss fights keep things interesting, the core gameplay loop—defend the barn, upgrade Sammy, repeat—can feel monotonous after a few hours. The lack of a compelling narrative or character development outside of Sammy’s schizophrenic episodes means that the game’s appeal is largely mechanical, which may not be enough to sustain long-term engagement.

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World-Building, Art & Sound: A Grindhouse Nightmare

Setting and Atmosphere: The Farm as a Battleground

The Culling of the Cows takes place entirely on Sammy’s farm, a sprawling but isolated plot of land that serves as the game’s sole setting. The farm is rendered in a crude 2D style, with a side-scrolling perspective that emphasizes the claustrophobic nature of Sammy’s struggle. The barn, positioned on the left side of the screen, is the player’s objective, while the right side serves as the spawn point for endless waves of enemies.

The game’s art direction is deliberately lo-fi, evoking the aesthetic of early 2000s Flash games. The backgrounds are static and minimally detailed, with the focus squarely on the action. The enemies, meanwhile, are rendered in a exaggerated, almost cartoonish style that amplifies their grotesque nature. The mutated cows, with their bulging eyes and distorted limbs, are particularly unsettling, blending horror and dark comedy in equal measure.

Visual Design: Embracing the Crude

The game’s visuals are not what one would call “polished.” The character sprites are stiff, the animations are limited, and the overall presentation feels rough around the edges. Yet, this crudeness is part of the game’s charm. The developers leaned into the limitations of their engine, using them to create a deliberately janky, B-movie aesthetic. The result is a game that feels like a lost artifact from the Newgrounds era, complete with exaggerated gore, over-the-top enemy designs, and a color palette dominated by earthy browns and blood-red splatters.

The game’s use of fixed flip-screen perspectives further enhances its arcade-like feel. Each level is confined to a single screen, with Sammy moving freely within its boundaries. This design choice keeps the action tight and focused, ensuring that players are always in the thick of the battle. The lack of scrolling also means that the game’s visuals are consistent, with no pop-in or loading screens to disrupt the flow.

Sound Design: The Symphony of Slaughter

The sound design in The Culling of the Cows is as exaggerated as the visuals. The shotgun blasts are thunderous, the enemy death screams are over-the-top, and the ambient noise—cows mooing, crows cawing, Sammy’s labored breathing—creates an immersive, if intentionally campy, atmosphere. The voice acting is deliberately hammy, with Sammy’s schizophrenic mutterings and the game’s exaggerated sound effects leaning into the grindhouse aesthetic.

The soundtrack, composed of twangy country tunes and ominous drones, further reinforces the game’s tone. The music shifts dynamically during battle, with the tempo increasing as the waves intensify. The result is a soundscape that feels both unsettling and darkly humorous, perfectly complementing the game’s visual style.

Thematic Cohesion: A World on the Brink

The game’s world-building is minimal but effective. The farm is presented as a microcosm of a larger apocalypse, with Sammy’s struggle serving as a metaphor for humanity’s fight against chaos. The briefcase labeled “Project Z” hints at a larger conspiracy, but the game never fully explores this thread, leaving players to fill in the gaps. This ambiguity is part of the game’s appeal, as it allows players to interpret Sammy’s mission as either a heroic last stand or a delusional rampage.

The game’s tone is consistently darkly comedic, with the over-the-top violence and absurd enemy designs undercutting any sense of genuine horror. The result is a world that feels like a cross between Evil Dead and Mad Cow Disease: The Game, a place where the rules of reality have been bent to accommodate sheer, unhinged spectacle.

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Reception & Legacy: A Cult Classic in the Making

Critical Reception: A Mixed Bag of Gore and Grumbles

Upon its release in May 2014, The Culling of the Cows received a lukewarm critical reception. Reviewers praised the game’s absurd premise and dark humor but criticized its repetitive gameplay, technical flaws, and lack of polish. Diehard GameFan described it as “a rather amusing tower defense game that puts a bit more action into the genre,” but ultimately concluded that “a poor presentation combined with an overall lack of content makes this a hard game to recommend.”

Player reviews on platforms like Steam and Metacritic were similarly mixed. The game currently holds a Metascore of “tbd” (due to a lack of critic reviews) and a user score of 4.5/10, with 52% of user reviews classified as negative. Common complaints included:
– Repetitive gameplay: Many players felt that the core loop grew stale after a few hours.
– Technical issues: Hitbox problems, stiff controls, and the lack of checkpoints frustrated players.
– Short length: The game’s 40 levels can be completed in a few hours, leading to criticisms about its value for money.
– Lack of narrative depth: While some appreciated the game’s ambiguity, others found the story underdeveloped and confusing.

Despite these criticisms, the game developed a cult following among fans of absurd, low-budget horror. Players who embraced the game’s B-movie aesthetic found much to love in its over-the-top violence, dark humor, and unique blend of genres. The game’s Steam reviews currently sit at 74% positive, with many players praising its charm and replayability.

Commercial Performance: A Niche Hit

The Culling of the Cows was never a commercial juggernaut, but it found a modest audience on Steam, where it remains available for a budget-friendly $0.74. The game’s low price point and frequent inclusion in bundles have helped it maintain a steady stream of players, though it has never broken into the mainstream.

The game’s Steam stats reveal a dedicated but small player base, with 2,563 positive reviews and 881 negative reviews as of 2026. The game’s playtime distribution suggests that most players complete it in 1.4 to 5 hours, with a 60% completion rate—a respectable figure for an indie title.

Influence and Legacy: Inspiring a Wave of Absurd Horror

While The Culling of the Cows may not have set the gaming world on fire, its influence can be seen in the rise of absurd horror and B-movie-inspired indie games. Titles like Ultrakill, Dusk, and Cult of the Lamb share the game’s penchant for over-the-top violence, dark humor, and unapologetic jank. The game’s blend of tower defense and shooter mechanics also presaged later hybrids like They Are Billions and Orcs Must Die! 3, which refined the formula with more polish and depth.

The game’s legacy is perhaps best summed up by its Steam community guides, which offer tips on everything from beating the final boss to unlocking all achievements. These guides, along with the game’s active modding scene, suggest that The Culling of the Cows has carved out a niche as a beloved cult classic—a game that may not be for everyone but has left an indelible mark on those who appreciate its unique brand of madness.

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Conclusion: A Flawed but Unforgettable Experiment

The Culling of the Cows is a game that defies easy categorization. It’s a tower defense shooter with survival horror elements, a dark comedy with psychological undertones, and a B-movie spectacle wrapped in a crude but charming indie package. Its strengths—absurd humor, creative enemy design, and a unique blend of genres—are balanced by its flaws—repetitive gameplay, technical issues, and a lack of narrative depth. Yet, it’s precisely these imperfections that make the game so memorable.

In the pantheon of indie games, The Culling of the Cows occupies a unique space. It’s not a masterpiece, nor is it a forgotten gem. Instead, it’s a cult classic, a game that embraces its jank and revels in its absurdity. For players who can look past its rough edges, it offers a one-of-a-kind experience—a blood-soaked, shotgun-fueled descent into madness that’s as hilarious as it is horrifying.

Final Verdict: 7/10 – A flawed but fascinating experiment in indie horror, best enjoyed by fans of absurd, B-movie-inspired gameplay.

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Additional Resources

• Steam Page: The Culling of the Cows on Steam
• MobyGames Entry: The Culling of the Cows on MobyGames
• Metacritic Reviews: The Culling of the Cows on Metacritic
• Steam Community Guides: Guides and Walkthroughs

The Culling of the Cows may not be a perfect game, but it’s a perfect example of what makes indie gaming so exciting: the willingness to take risks, embrace imperfections, and create something truly unique. For those brave enough to pick up Sammy’s shotgun, it’s an experience unlike any other.